Ironically, I've struggled to sit down and write this blog multiple times due to struggles with my mental health. Life has an interesting way of hitting us when we least expect it. Despite being nervous about sharing my personal experiences, challenging societal norms, and exhibiting a high level of candidness throughout this post, I believe it's very necessary to speak on this topic. If you don't already know, I am not in the business of lying, beating around the bush, or sugar coating anything. I strongly believe in telling it how it is (respectfully of course), being straight forward, and never being afraid to shake the room when it needs a little shaking. With that being said, the following post was written with the purpose of discussing "the elephant in the room" when it comes to mental health awareness and sweeping years of dust from under this rug we call "society". Please enjoy the post.
On January 18, 2021 I tweeted the following opinion:
"a lot of mental health advocacy is performative. it's "end the stigma" until people struggle to get out of bed and maintain their hygeine. it's "normalize talking about mental health" until people speak their truth n then it's crickets, alienation n treating them like they're crazy. and frankly, I HATE IT. this is a huge part of why people don't open up. because personally, if I muster up the courage to be vulnerable with you and I'm met with judgement ??? it's never again."
Four months later, my opinion still stands. We are now in May of 2021. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. While I believe that is amazing, it seems as if designated months for specific issues and groups are often interpreted in society as the one time a year when we're meant to actually care. Now hear me out, I'm not saying nobody cares about or advocates for mental health outside of the month of May. However, you can't blame me for believing there's an evident issue of performative and selective activism when the topic of mental health is always treated as "taboo" or "uncomfortable" until May rolls around each year. I can't be the only one who notices it. Bosses start treating their employees better, professors seem to give their students a bit more grace, colourful infographics show up on your Instagram timeline daily, and for 31 days out of the year, people feel seen, heard, accepted and understood in society. There is so much wrong with this. While a designated month for mental health awareness is a "step in the right direction", it's simply the bare minimum in the bigger picture of moving towards a society where talking about the realities of mental health is normalized. It's about time we address the damaging effects of performative activism when it comes to the topic of mental health awareness.
There are many reasons why performative mental health activism is a prominent issue within society. The main issues I’ve noticed are people not accepting mental health for everything it is, not making an effort to understand others, and criticizing experiences that are different from their own. You do not have the right to invalidate the feelings or experiences of others because their struggles do not fit into your idea of what mental health should look like. It not only goes against the so-called “activism”, but it also discourages people from admitting when they’re not okay in the future. Personally, I struggle with opening up, even with the people closest to me. It's not that I have a bad support system or people in my circle that I can't trust, in fact I have a great support system! But it's not about other people, it never has been. Opening up requires a level of vulnerability that can instill fear in those of us who already struggle to do so. I've always struggled with admitting when I'm not okay out of fear of judgement, shame, or feeling misunderstood. There was even a point when I thought I would permanently reside in my own head and keep things to myself forever. I was so convinced that I always had to have everything together. Not only is that unrealistic, but it can also be extremely unhealthy. I quickly realized how vital a good support system is to our mental health. However, as someone who still struggles with vulnerability, I can see why people would be hesitant to open up about their mental health struggles; especially in a society that appears to be so evolved when it comes to accepting mental health issues but still has many underlying problems.
What I've come to learn over the years talking to others about their mental health and opening up about my own is that everyone just wants to be loved. Everyone just wants to feel accepted, understood, and seen. But most of all, nobody wants to feel alone. It's all so simple and yet as a society, we've managed to complicate it. That's why it's so important to be genuine in our mental health activism as it involves real people’s lives and experiences. When we make an effort to understand others and their mental health struggles, we create safe spaces for the people around us to open up, free of judgement or shame. Performative mental health activism only contributes to the already existing stigma surrounding mental health and not only invalidates the thoughts and feelings of real people, but also ostracizes them for issues they often cannot control. How are we supposed to "end the stigma" when performative activism is actively feeding it? When will we ever "normalize talking about mental health" if mental health is still a "touchy" topic and people struggling with mental health issues are treated in society as if they exist outside of the "norm"? This is a reminder that we are all human. To behave as if you are above mental health issues is extremely ignorant. To act as if you are immune to such issues with your own mental health is unrealistic. To shame others for dealing with mental health issues when you could be in the same position 6 months from now is not only disrespectful, but extremely dense. If you have a brain, you have mental health. Regardless of who you are or how “good” you believe your life is. Whether you struggle with yours on a daily basis or rare occasions, at the clinical or a lower frequency level, your feelings deserve to be acknowledged as much as the next person. Some of us need mental health days while others need weeks and that is just fine. What's not fine is shaming others. When we struggle with our mental health, the stress of feeling out of control in our own minds is enough, we don’t need the added weight of societal judgement.
Another issue that surrounds mental health awareness is selective activism. Like I mentioned in my tweet back in January, you simply cannot advocate for mental health awareness and neglect advocating for the negatives that come with it. It's important to realize that mental health is not always "pretty" and that everyone struggles differently. Just like healing, our mental health is not linear so there are bound to be highs and lows. There will be days where you live your life with no issues and days where you can't even get out of bed. You will encounter days where you’re a social butterfly and days when you don’t feel like talking to anyone. Life is full of extremely productive days and days where you feel like all you’ve done is survive. There will be laughter and tons of happy memories but there will also be tears, lack of motivation, and burnout. Your understanding of mental health must be as flexible as mental health is unpredictable. Your activism must include the highs and lows, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm a strong believer that it is not your place to judge someone if you don't understand what they're going through, which you never truly will because you do not live their life.
As we are currently living through a global pandemic which has affected many of us mentally in various ways, I truly believe there has been no better time in history to discuss these issues than now. Living through a pandemic has affected my mental health more in the past year than my entire life and I'm sure many others can agree when I say it has been extremely hard. There were, and still are, many days when I feel like I'm doing a lot more surviving than living. I had high hopes for this pandemic to be the revolutionary moment that sparked the normalization of mental health issues in society and while I can say I wasn't necessarily surprised by the lack of progression; I couldn't help but be disappointed. Honestly, I'm not sure what I expected from a society that prioritizes capitalism, 40-hour work weeks and the preservation of large corporations over the well-being of the working class. But, I guess a part of me innocently wished we were at the turning point in history. I don't know that we'll come out of this pandemic having made any significant progress, but what I do know is that we cannot continue with "business as usual". All I’m saying is if companies and schools stopped only speaking out about mental health to preserve their image and prioritized implementing mental health resources, employees would actually be able to make a liveable wage while avoiding burnout and less students each year would feel like their only out is to end their lives. We are in need of a drastic change. Many people would say that we have come a long way as a society in the acceptance of mental health. While that is true, as long as people are being ostracized and met with judgement when they muster up the courage to open up about their mental health, we still have much further to go. We must continue to have these "uncomfortable" conversations and truly end the stigma until mental health becomes a household name.
If there's anything you take away from this blog it's to make sure your mental health activism is inclusive, open-minded, and non-judgemental. Continue to educate yourself on mental health issues because activism without education is nothing. Don't just "check on your friends", reassure them. Support them. Remind them that they are not alone. Set boundaries and allow others to be there for you as much as you are for them. Most importantly, be KIND because you truly never know what people are going through. Spend less time judging others and more time listening to them, you could really learn a lot. Spread more love, you never know who might need some. But don't just be kind to others, be kind to yourself. Learn to give yourself grace. We are undoubtedly living through rough times and it's important to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can given the current circumstances. When we REALLY normalize talking about mental health and the realities that come with it in an approachable, non-judgemental way, we allow ourselves and those around us to become more comfortable saying "actually, I'm not okay".
Continue to take care of yourself and your loved ones and remember that you are never alone.
Peace, love, and gratitude always,
Kim
Mental Health Resources:
PHONE, TEXT, CHAT
Youthspace.ca (NEED2 Suicide Prevention, Education and Support)
Youth Text (6pm-12am PT): (778) 783-0177
Youth Chat (6pm-12am PT): www.youthspace.ca
Crisis Services Canada
Toll Free (24/7): 1 (833) 456-4566
Text support (4pm-12am ET daily): 45645
Canadian Crisis Hotline
1 (888) 353-2273
APPS AND ONLINE SUPPORT SERVICES
Canadian Mental Health Association
Crisis Services Canada
Better Help
The Lifeline App
Big White Wall Canada
BIPOC RESOURCES
Across Boundaries
Black Youth Helpline
National Association of Friendship Centres
The Trevor Project
LGBTQ+ RESOURCES
LGBT Youthline
PFLag Canada
It Gets Better Campaign
Comments